Rights of Children on their Parents

Allah SWT has given children rights over their parents just as the parents have rights over their children. 

In the past reminders have been on the rights of parents but with a bigger than average attendance of the youth today, it’s worth reminding the parents that children also have a right in Islam that the parents must uphold.

The first and foremost thing we ought to remind ourselves is that children are gifts from Allah SWT. Even with modern science where it is at today, nothing can compare to the miracle of childbirth and Allah SWT reminds us of this in the 72nd ayat of Sura An-Nahl which is translated to say:

And Allah has made for you from yourselves mates and has made for you from your mates sons and grandchildren and has provided for you from the good things. Then in falsehood do they believe and in the favor of Allah they disbelieve?

We are being reminded by Allah SWT that nothing is without His permission. This is evident in those who struggle to conceive. The imam also referenced the 49th ayat of Sura Ash-Shura which is translated to say:

To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth; He creates what he wills. He gives to whom He wills female [children], and He gives to whom He wills males.

Dear brothers and sisters, if we know that our children are gifts from Allah SWT then surely we ought to ensure that we take care of that gift. We give one another presents all the time and if we were to disregard that present, especially in front of the person who gave it to us, wouldn’t that be something to be embarrassed of?

And so, with our children, we must be mindful and adhere to their rights so that we are grateful for the gifts that they are to us.

And so this reminder has 10 rights that children have from their parents or guardians which will be covered today.

  1. To be good and decent yourself. Children do not listen, they follow. This is shown in countless studies and so if we want our children to be a certain way then the best way to achieve this is to be that person ourselves. For example, we cannot expect them to love Salah if we are not praying ourselves.
  2. To name them well. The name we give our children is important. Choose Islamic names as the meaning of the name has an effect on the child.
  3. To give them good upbringing. We all want the best for our children but with this point we need to understand that a good upbringing isn’t about money or stuff. Good upbringing is about dedicating time and effort in your children such as family games and trips.
  4. To encourage learning and education. Dear brothers and sisters, our ummah is famous for this aspect of our deen. Let us continue that tradition and make learning not just for the school and madrassah but part of our home environment. Dedicate time daily to reading or learning something.
  5. To be good to them when young, help them when mature. There is a hadith in relation to this point which is translated to say:

“The child is the master for seven years; and a slave for seven years and a vizier for seven years; so if he grows into a good character within 21 years, well and good; otherwise leave him alone because you have discharged your responsibility before Allah.”

The meaning of this from scholars is that for the first seven, we play with them, the next seven we train and teach the  child and beyond 14, we give them the guidance to make the right choices themselves.

Dear brothers and sisters, we must give the children their due. Don’t be overstrict with them or spoil them but we mindful of what level they are at and be with them accordingly.

  • To be fair to all children equally. This is important in larger families as it is easy to compare children with one another. Dear brothers and sisters, we are not raising clones. Each child is different and with different strengths and weaknesses. It is our responsibility to recognize that and treat each child according to their individual traits.
  • To help them make the right decisions in life, including marriage. This comes back to the earlier point of being advisors to our children after the age of fourteen. Even after society deems them adults, we need to remember that responsibility lies with us to advise them and be there for them. The first step to that is to be able to listen to them, empathise with them and refrain from judging them because that is not our place to do, we risk alienating them if we talk down to them. The key here is to remind yourself that you were once in that position and so approach them as friends when they are older in life.
  • To help them get married. From financial help to advise on picking the right spouse, we need to ensure that they are married as soon as they are able to in order to prevent them from deviating from the right path. Society has plenty of alternatives to marriage which will tempt and so we need to be mindful of that and work with our children to get them married, despite the fear we all feel as parents with the idea of our children leaving us after marriage.
  • To spend on them if they are poor. Children bring their own rizq with them and we need to be mindful that we do not forgo their rights in terms of the financial support they need – whether it is education, clothing or something else that contributes to their growth into the next generation of our Ummah.
  • And finally, to do duaa for them. Dear brothers and sisters, this point is obvious but worth mentioning anyway that the dua of the parents, especially the mother is one of the most powerful forces in this world. Do not short-change your children and forgo their right on you praying for them. Their parents dua has the potential to impact their every facet of their lives for the better.

Dear brothers and sisters, our children may stretch our patience at times but we are blessed to have each and every one of them. Let us take today’s khutba as a reminder that we will be held accountable for the way in which we raise them.

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Rights of Muslims over other Muslims

As soon as someone becomes Muslim, he or she is given rights even if they are in remote areas at ends of the world. These rights are given without discussion and in fact we will all be asked about these, as if these were obligatory rights, we will get asked by Allah SWT if we fulfilled them.

We will be asked did we fulfil these rights to its full extent. Dear brothers and sisters, its rights such as these ones in today’s reminder that is the fabric of our society, our ummah. This is because that through these rights, we are kept together, as when a part of your body is in pain, the entire body is in pain.

The first ayat mentioned is ayat 10 from Sura Al-Hujarat:

The believers are but brothers, so make settlement between your brothers. And fear Allah that you may receive mercy.

And ayat 71 from Surat Tuaba which is:

The believing men and believing women are allies of one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and establish prayer and give zakah and obey Allah and His Messenger. Those – Allah will have mercy upon them. Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.

And as the Prophet SAWS said: None of you will believe unless he loves to his brother as he loves for himself.

Dear brothers and sisters, this is important because we are guilty of losing sight of this when we live amongst people who do not have these rights for one another. Look again at our history as Muslims and recall that the first act that the Prophet peace and blessings be upon him did after his immigration was to make the immigrants from Mecca brothers to the residents of Madina, and this was prior to building of a Masjid, as we can not have a community without the brotherhood, as any other dealings are for worldly, and this relationship can turn sour very quickly once the benefit from each other diminishes.

Practically, the duties we have towards one another come in the form of advice that we received from our blessed teacher, the best of all creation. Six duties are mentioned in this next hadith which, at the very least, should be strongly recommended for us to do. It is translated to say:

“A Muslim has six duties towards other Muslims: When you meet him, you should salute him; when he invites you, accept his invitation; when he asks for your advice, give it to him; when he sneezes and praises Allah, say May Allah have mercy on you; when he is ill, visit him; and when he dies follow his funeral.”

Another hadith speaks of a single important practical tip of giving salaam to each other. It is translated to say:

You shall not enter Paradise so long as you do not affirm belief (in all those things which are the articles of faith) and you will not believe as long as you do not love one another. Should I not direct you to a thing which, if you do, will foster love amongst you: (i. e.) give currency to (the practice of paying salutation to one another by saying) as-salamu alaikum.

In a different hadith, we are told this salaam is applied to those we know and those we don’t know. Dear brothers and sisters, it’s not difficult to spot the Muslim when we are out and about. Especially areas near here, in Rusholme, Longsight etc. Do we make an effort to say salaam to each other when passing or in shops? Or are we guilty of not following this important advice of the Prophet SAWS?

Another hadith states the importance of how we deal with each other as Muslims. It’s translated to say:

A Muslim is the brother of a fellow-Muslim. He should neither commit oppression upon him nor ruin him, and he who meets the need of a brother, Allah would meet big needs, and he who relieved a Muslim from hardship Allah would relieve him from the hardships to which he would be put on the Day of Resurrection, and he who did not expose (the sins of a Muslim) Allah would conceal his sins on the Day of Resurrection.

Dear brothers and sisters, if we think about this, our direct account with Allah SWT depends on how we interact with our brothers and sisters in this life. There is a direct correlation between the love and mercy we show to one another and the love and mercy Allah SWT will show us.

Further to this advice, the Prophet gave deeper advice on our interaction with each other. He said:

A Muslim is a brother to a Muslim. He should neither deceive him nor lie to him, nor leave him without assistance. Everything belonging to a Muslim is sacred for a Muslim; his honour, his blood and property. Piety is here (and he pointed out to his chest thrice). It is enough for a Muslim to commit evil by despising his Muslim brother.

And the last practical advice this week is a practice which is forgotten about but one that I guarantee each of us will wish we have done for us. The hadith translates to say:

Whoever accompanies the funeral (the dead body) until he performs the funeral prayer will have a reward equal to (one Qirat), and whoever accompanies the burial procession, will be doubly awarded (two Qirat).” They then asked, ‘What is meant by the two Qirat?’ He replied (ﷺ) “Like two huge mountains.

Dear brothers, following the janaza or the Muslim who has died is a duty on each of us. Some are guilty of only doing this for the famous or important but this is a duty on each of us for all Muslims, regardless of their status in this world.

And with that this reminder concludes. In a world that is more divided that ever, it is our duty as Muslims to establish ties with one another. Today’s reminder has just provided the reason and ways in which  we can do that.

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The rights of the messsenger (Peace and Blessings upon Him) over us

Dear brothers and sisters, the choice of Allah SWT for His Messenger is a mercy and a blessing on us all.

The Imam reminded us of the 75th verse of Sura Hajj in which it is translated to say:

Allah chooses from the angels’ messengers and from the people. Indeed, Allah is Hearing and Seeing.

Dear brothers and sisters, if we analyse this ayat we can see that Allah chooses from angels a messenger, and from the people messengers, and they are the best of their kind.

Our messenger SAWS is the best example of this definition. The imam reminded us of a hadith in which the Prophet SAWS said:

“Indeed, Allah chose Kinanah from the children of Isma’il, and He chose Quraish from Kinanah, and He chose Hashim from Quraish, and He chose me from Banu Hashim.”

The Prophet SAWS was subjected to taunts questioning why he was chosen to fulfil the role that Allah SWT bestowed upon him.

Allah SWT speaks of this in Sura al-Zukhruf, ayat 31 and 32 which is translated to say:

And they said: “Why is not this Qur’an sent down to some great man [in terms of dignity and wealth] of the two towns (Mecca and Ta’if)?”

Is it they who would portion out the Mercy of your Lord [regarding the Divine appointment of Muhammad to prophethood]? It is We Who portion out [between them] their livelihood in this world [let alone the exalted rank of prophethood] and We raised some of them above others in ranks so that some may employ others in their work. But the Mercy of your Lord is better than what they amass.

Dear brothers and sisters, there is so much to take from this passage but for the purposes of the time and place, we will summarize one of the lessons and that is that Allah SWT is exposing their short-sightedness in that they are ranking in terms of wordly standards such as possessions, rank and reputation.

In actual fact, such ignorant people imagined that their wrong doing tribal chiefs and men of substance were the closest people to God and were surprised to learn that Prophethood and the Divine great Favor had not been given to such people but had been bestowed upon the poor orphan, Muhammad SAWS.

As a result of this, we as Muslims must adhere to certain manners and etiquettes in relation to our beloved Prophet SAWS.

The remainder of this reminder outlines 4 of these points that we can apply practically from today.

  1. To love the Prophet SAWS more than everyone else including family. Dear brothers and sisters, this is often a hard message to convey to someone but it isn’t difficult if you study the Prophet SAWS and all that he did for us and that he will do for us.

We live in a time and place where our senses are overloaded with information on the now. We have our senses overloaded with images, sounds and videos and often these take precedence over books and mediums that require some thought.

However, if we study the Prophet SAWS, his life and his mission, we will truly understand how much of a blessing he was to you and I. How much he is applicable to us today and in our lives and in our next life. Only through this dedicated approach will we begin to fully appreciate the magnitude of our teacher and reciprocate with the love he clearly had for each and every one of us.

  1. To follow his orders and commandments and avoid disobeying the Prophet. The imam reminded us of a hadith in relation to this point and it is translated to say:

 

Whoever obeys me, obeys Allah SWT and whoever disobeys me, disobeys Allah SWT

 

This ought to remind us that the Prophet SAWS and his commandments are the practical application of the book of Allah SWT and that we ought to give it the importance that it deserves.

 

  1. To pray for the Prophet SAWS. Practically, we ought to be sending salam upon the Prophet SAWS and remembering him often. This is especially the case today as we have reminded ourselves previously of the etiquettes of Friday and how it ought to include sending Salaam upon the Prophet SAWS.

 

However, alongside this, we ought to use the opportunity all week long to send salaam upon the Prophet SAWS. Whether it is one the commute to work or study or whether it is during the trip to the shops or school runs, we all have a minute here and there to perform this noble act.

The Imam reminded us of the following hadith in which the Prophet SAWS said:

“The person closest to me on the Day of Judgement is the one who sent the most Salat upon me.”

Dear brothers and sisters, we are the most blessed of people because we belong to the Ummah of the most beloved of all creation SAWS. Let us not lose sight of the fact that with this great blessing comes a responsibility too.

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The rights of Muslims on each other

The rights of Muslims on each other are many. It is what makes us a blessed nation. However, there are varying levels to these rights.

Some of them are obligatory on each person, and if was not acted upon then that person would be sinful.

Some of these rights are obligatory on the community, so that if some Muslims in the community fulfil this obligation the rest are not sinful. But if not one takes on this responsibility then everyone is sinful.

And of course we have some of these rights which are recommended or desirable and get reward for doing it, but not sinful if not acted upon.

There are hadiths in relation to these rights that help us understand what is expected of us as Muslims.

First one is where the Prophet Muhammed SAWS is reported to have said:

“The rights of a Muslim on the Muslims are five: to respond to the salaam, visiting the sick, to follow the funeral processions, to accept an invitation, and to reply to those who sneeze.

Further rights of the Muslims upon one another are mentioned in the following hadith in which the Prophet SAWS said:

Six are the rights of a Muslim over another Muslim. It was said to him: Allah’s Messenger, what are these? Thereupon he said: When you meet him, offer him greetings; when he invites you to a feast accept it. when he seeks your council give him, and when he sneezes and says:” All praise is due to Allah,” you say Yarhamuk Allah (which means may Allah show mercy to you) ; and when he fails ill visit him; and when he dies follow his grave.

Dear brothers and sisters, it is said that the meaning of the (rights of Muslim) is that this cannot be ignored, to the point that ignoring it is either sinful or that performing these actions is highly recommended to the point of it being obligatory.

We ought to remind ourselves of the practical steps we can all take from this so that we are of the people who do right by one another.

We conclude the reminder with 6 practical steps we can all take today onwards.

  1. Replying to a person that gives Salaam is obligatory if it was said to one person, however, if it was said to more than one person, this would mean its obligatory for one person to reply out of the group.
  2. Visiting the ill is obligatory on some from the community. Scholars have stated though that visiting the ill is obligatory on some of the community, as long as some members of the community do it, then rest are not sinful.

And this is not just for family and friends, we have a Muslim charity that is set up and is actively visiting the sick in hospitals and hospices so if you wish to volunteer for this then get in touch for more information.

  1. Burial ceremony is also obligatory. The action here is one that needs to be fulfilled by some members of the community but it is recommended that if you can attend then you should not avoid doing so. Likewise if there is an announcement for the Janaza or Funeral prayer then we should aim to stay for that if possible.
  2. Regarding turning up to an invitation, this depends on the event. If this was a Walima for wedding for example, most of the scholars believe this is obligatory unless there is a valid excuse. However, if this was for other reasons, most scholars say its recommended that you attend and not obligatory.
  3. Saying a Dua to person who sneezes (May Allah have mercy on you) – there is a difference of opinion with this, However, for our purposes we ought to know what is said so that we have that knowledge at our disposal. It is to say Yarhamuk Allah (which means may Allah show mercy to you).
  4. Lastly, Regarding advice if a Muslim was asked. Dear brothers and sisters, this is obligatory as long as this is fulfilled by someone in the community.

This makes sense as we can’t offer council on something we may not have knowledge of ourselves. The responsibility however does apply to the community and therefore if one cannot help directly they ought to offer someone else in the community as a source of knowledge.

Dear brothers and sisters, our community is ours to nourish, to take care of, to be responsible for. Alongside our Muslim brothers and sisters we have a responsibility as ambassadors of our faith to set the standard in care, consideration and affection to one another. With these practical examples today, we can begin to do so and alongside that demonstrate practically to the wider community what it is to be a Muslim even in difficult times as the ones we face today.

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